May 8th, 2020

Neither of us slept. Laila was not used to being hooked to wires and all the beeping and prodding all night long. And well, I couldn't sleep for obvious reasons.

In the morning I started pacing, waiting for the surgeons to do their rounds, as we were promised the results of the CT scan.

In my heart I hoped it was not cancer, that it was just a mass, easily removable and we would move on...so I paced. They allowed Chris to come back to be there when we received the CT scan results (thank goodness).

And he arrived just in time.

The surgeons walked into the room. "Well, we have the CT scan, let me pull it up here for you. As you can see, there is a huge tumor, 13 cm to be exact, right here." He points to it. I dropped to the ground.

The giant tumor was half her body size, and so large it was pushing every other organ to the other side of her body, including pressing against her aorta.

"We cannot tell you if it is benign or malignant. We have to do a biopsy, but it looks malignant based on how large it is. So, the biopsy is tomorrow and you will be staying overnight again."

"Any questions?" I couldn't see straight. Therefore, I had no questions.

They left the room, I asked Chris if this was real - was this really happening to Laila, the sweetest, easiest baby in the world?! And why?? Why was this happening??

They of course could not schedule the biopsy surgery for that day, so again we had to wait another night, for a surgery then scheduled for the following day, Friday, May 9th.