May 7th, 2020

So, we put Laila in her car seat and headed out to the ER. It was noon.

I told Molly, our nanny. that we would be back in two hours, and not to worry about my bread that was rising - I was sure I would be home in time to bake it.

We arrived to Lurie's Children's Hospital, were greeted with masks and hand sanitizer, and to our delight - an EMPTY ER. "Great," I thought, we will be in and out.

"So, what brings you in today?" asked the nurse at the desk. "Well, our 8.5 month old baby has a really bloated stomach. We think it is gas. Do you want to see a picture?"

I showed her the photo and we were whisked right in. Immediately, vitals were checked, blood work was drawn, and then we were left to sit there, waiting.

An hour later, the nurse came in, "we are going to do an ultrasound of her belly." I replied, "You don't think this is anything serious, right?"

They came in to do the ultrasound as if she was a pregnant lady, snapping photos of every inch of her tiny, very bloated belly. I kept asking "Do you see anything?" She said, "I can't tell you anything, I'm sorry." Great.

So, we just sat there, turned on Laila's favorite movie, Moana, and waited...with anxiety and worry growing.

About an hour later, just under the pulled curtain, we saw a gathering of feet and doctors. I looked at Chris, and said, "F***, this is not good."

And it wasn't. The surgeon came in and said something about a tumor...cancer...and I blacked out. I don't remember much else.

The next thing we knew we were watching her get inserted in and out of a CT machine, and then checked into a room for the night.

Because of Covid, they made Chris leave at that point, so I stayed, with my beautiful angel baby, and cried and cried.

At one point, one of the lovely nurses came in to check Laila's vitals, and saw me crying on the floor..."This is unprofessional and not allowed right now, but can I hug you?"

"YES!" I cried and sobbed into her shoulder.