Blessing in Disguise

Little did i know that losing my job two months ago would end up being a blessing in disguise.

As I wrote in my first blog post, after mourning the loss of my job at BCV (and I mourned hard), I settled into freelancing and home life and was loving it.

Then, a little over a month into quarantine

I was offered a full time position with a new company that I had been interviewing with. While I should have been elated to get that offer, I oddly felt a bit of anxiety about starting a new position, remote, during a pandemic. And, honestly I had really started to like making my own schedule and having this new found flexibility.

But, I knew I had to accept it, because in this economic environment that was the responsible thing to do.

Then this happened.

And the two weeks following the discovery of her tumor were a complete blur.

Seeing and hearing that your is child sick is crippling mentally, emotionally and physically.

I put my freelance project on hold and declined the offer. I couldn’t even see straight, so how could I possibly put any effort into a new company?!

Sitting in the hospital while Laila was getting her second round of chemo I looked at Chris and said “how would I ever be able to work full time while this is going on?” And he agreed.

Chris is currently on a three week leave of absence, and starting Monday he will go back to working full time (still remote until his travel resumes), which means the hospital visits, sleepless nights, surgery and recovery will all require my full attention.

We decided that I won’t go back to a full time role until this is over at the beginning of 2021.

I have never not worked — I started slinging pagers at 15 and since then I have never not had a full time position or a paycheck coming in.

Again, that scares me for a myriad of reasons, but none of which compare to the scare of our daughter having cancer.

So yes, losing my job was a blessing in disguise. Because the most important and only job that matters right now is the title of “mom.”

On a related note, so many people, literally from around the world have been asking how they can help. We have been so overwhelmed by the generosity of everyone around us and that so many people want to support us, we honestly feel so bad taking people up on the generous offers — because let’s face it, everyone has a lot going on! And so many people have already done so much for us. Honestly all the love, thoughts and prayers and positive energy are more than enough — and so much appreciated.

We also truly appreciate all those who have donated to Lurie’s Hospital in Laila’s honor.

During her chemo session last Wednesday our “cancer patient social worker,” came by to meet with me and she challenged me to accept the assistance that people are offering without feeling so darn guilty about it.

So, based on the suggestions of the social worker and some members of our incredible support system we set up the a link on a site called meal train, (which can also be accessed on the “Meal Train” tab on this site).

We’ve found meals to be really helpful, because it gives us more time to focus on the kids and is one less thing we need to worry about doing at night. When Chris goes back to work, this will be even more helpful. Please don’t feel any obligation to participate, but we figured we would at least let people know what we’ve found to be one of the more helpful offerings aside from donating to the hospital.